Useful Advice for Normal(ish) people
In the 3rd installment of Borrowed Knowledge, we delve into the topic of comfort and how our pursuit of it can actually hinder our growth. The best part? We get to do it through the lens of Kahlil Gibran and his beautiful work, The Prophet.
If you find it hard to keep your words about others kind, it’s time to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you’re triggered. 🤔
Somebody else’s experience, choices, looks, etc. won’t bother you if you’re truly at peace with yourself so check yourself before you wreck yourself boo. Why do you care? What can you gain from voicing your opinion other than letting the world know you clearly have shit to work on?
On the flip side, if you happen to be on the receiving end or the target of other people’s comments, just remember that nobody can make you feel an emotion you don’t welcome in your experience. No one can impose on you a shame you don’t carry. Nobody’s words will ever be as powerful as your vibration and how you show up. So keep showing up. Keep being you and learn to love even those who clearly have an issue loving themselves... Cause at the end of the day baby, it has nothing to do with you. 😉
It’s time to evolve folks. If you’re wanting to gossip, if you’re wanting to criticize or shame, rather than indulge the urge, I invite you to get curious. What is your discomfort trying to teach you about yourself and your journey? 🧐
Namasme.
Radical transparency sounds great in theory but is it really possible? Yes! Yes it is... and not only is it possible, it's the key to authentic interaction and long lasting success in any relationship! Just ask superstar financier and thoughtful human, Ray Dalio... He built his whole company on this idea!
Join me as I dive into the 3 things you need to successfully employ radical transparency in all your relationships in our second installment of Borrowed Knowledge!
Did you know that you have 3 bodies that developed at different times or that who you are as an adult today was largely determined before you were 21?
As part of our first installment of 'Borrowed Knowledge,' a new series, we dive into Michael Brown's, "The Presence Process" and a discussion about the 3 most important phases of our development as well as our 3 'bodies' and how we can use them in our process of integrating the traumas of our past in a healthy way.
Check it out!
I was invited to speak at and presented at The National Symposium for Integrated Health at the Harvard University Faculty Club in Cambridge last week and wrote the following piece as a guideline for the presentation I delivered. I'll be posting the video of the presentation when I get my hands on it but my hope is that you will read this and start asking questions today... As always, feedback is most welcome!
On September 25, 2009 my brother Thomas and I made a decision that would drastically alter the course of both of our lives forever. You see, we had spent the better part of two years essentially lobbying the Colombian government to give us full custody of my father who at the time was suffering from severe Alzheimer’s disease and wasn’t receiving the level of care he deserved.
That Friday morning, we were granted our wish and received all the relevant paperwork. We couldn’t believe it! The day we had dreamed of for so long had come but due to some unforeseen circumstances, none of what we had planned to do once we had achieved this was on the table and we were forced to think quickly. Our conclusion? To take him with us back to the States and to figure out what to do once we were on our own turf and with more time to think. We went straight to the Embassy, got him a passport and were on the first flight back to DC, which was where we both lived at the time.
At the time, I was a relatively carefree 25 year old rising quickly in the ranks of corporate America. I was in a committed relationship, living in a spacious loft, driving a beautiful car, and contemplating a move overseas with my boyfriend. Life was good. How good? I didn’t really understand until September 26th, the day we arrived to the states… which is when the reality of what we had chosen to take on really set in.
You see, in our minds prior to assuming the responsibility of my father’s care, we understood that it was going to be the beginning of a new chapter for us as a family and that it would require some sacrifices on our part. That’s about it, to be honest… but it was enough because we were intent on making his last years as comfortable and loving as possible. To us, it had become abundantly clear that we were the best people for the job so we decided to take it on, admittedly not knowing exactly it entailed and how difficult it would be…
And difficult it was…Dad required 24hr round the clock care. That meant we had to hire a caregiver while we were at work and that we take turns every other night bathing him, changing his diapers, feeding him dinner, and putting him to bed. We would switch every other weekend too so that we could each get a break and be ‘normal’ for 48hrs.
Dad’s care quickly took a toll on us physically, psychologically, emotionally, and financially. He had no health insurance and came to us after not having seen a doctor, a dentist, or an occupational therapist in years. He was in bad shape and we needed to get him to the healthiest baseline as soon as possible to better control the inevitable decline that we knew would come regardless.
There were tears, nights of what seemed like endless frustration. Anger, sadness, fights, resentment, and plenty of days where we both felt like we couldn’t take it anymore. Though my brother took on more responsibilities than I did, in my mind it felt like it was too much. We were too young. It was too unfair. I remember sitting at home on Saturday nights alone and crying myself to sleep. I remember experiencing severe anxiety before every time I had to shower him prompted by the fear that he may fall and that I would be alone and helpless…
Though he did pass away peacefully at home during a snow storm some 2 years and 4 months later, I’m proud to say that our efforts weren’t in vain. We accomplished our goal of making him feel loved and ensuring that he had the best medical care possible for as long as he was with us. To this day, when I think of the experience I can’t help but wonder about how we pulled it off. I’m ever so grateful for having had the opportunity to care for him and in awe of just how incredibly strong my brother proved to be at the time. As for me? Well, let’s just say the experience is the reason why I stand before you today.
So now that you’ve received the cliff’s notes version of one of the most intimate/difficult/ and character defining parts of my life story, I think it’s time I introduce myself properly. Hi, my name is Jenniffer Green and I am a professional student of life. Most people refer to me by what I do for a living… life coach… but I know better.
I shared with you my story because hidden inside of that experience is a message that I feel is worth sharing and that has served as one of the pillars of my coaching practice for the last 3 1/2 years.
Knowing what you now know about my story, you can probably understand why taking care of my dad was probably the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. What I didn’t share though, was that it also ended up being one of the most gratifying experiences of my life. The beautiful part? That realization didn’t come AFTER the ordeal, it came DURING and it helped me begin a personal transformation that is still taking place today.
So what happened that changed my mind? Did we have a crisis within a crisis? Nah, my revelation came to be quite anti-climatically one Friday night as I was watching a movie with my dad at home and feeling annoyed that I couldn’t make it to a friend’s get together. I found myself going into a familiar thought pattern… ‘poor me’, ‘my youth being wasted’ “this is so unfair’ ‘where did my freedom go’… This time I stopped myself though. I stopped because I had repeated the same story so many times that I’d become bored of it and it had starting feeling a bit melodramatic. There’s only so much feeling sorry for yourself you can do after all.
I was desperate to make sense of it all so I turned to both western philosophy and eastern spiritual thought and began to go inward. In my quest I had my first “aha!’ Moment reading Viktor Frankl’s work. Frankl was a renowned Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, and holocaust survivor and in my eyes his story served as a beautiful example of how a human being can transmute their suffering into meaning through a process that I’ve begun to call perceptual alchemy. Frankl stated: ’Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
So yes. What I living was challenging. Yes, it was too much. Yes, we were too young. Yes, it was unfair. But could it be other things as well? Could I learn to see this situation in a way that didn’t feel like I was at the mercy of my circumstances? How could I find this freedom that Frankl described? I found that changing my attitude regarding my situation was a lot harder than I expected. How do you just magically shift your perceptions and emotions?
Unsatisfied and unconvinced, I kept digging and in my search I found Chinese philosopher and the Founder of Taoism, Lao Tsu and the following suggestion: ‘When I let go of what I am I become what I may be.’ But who was I? It had become clear that I had to let go of something… What exactly that was though, I wasn’t sure… that didn’t make me crave it any less though.
So on one hand I had Frankl telling me to accept my situation and shift my attitude and on the other I had Lao Tsu telling me to let go of the idea I had in my head about who I was so that I could embrace something new. In order to do either of those though, I needed to take a step back and figure out what the ‘what’ I needed to accept was and the ‘who’ I was being at the moment.
Well, that was way easier said than done. You see, while the power of acceptance is a key pillar in most personal development literature, there’s a key piece in the acceptance conversation that a lot of people miss when they discuss the importance of embracing it. You have to be keenly aware of what you are ‘accepting’ in order to shift it and create lasting change…. And that ‘thing’ you’re accepting is the story you are telling yourself about what you are living…. And that story, like most… is subjective.
When I took a hard look at myself, I realized that the story I was telling was one of total martyrdom. And though there was a part of me that felt righteous about my victimization because it was being done in the name of love, there was, however, a side of me that wasn’t buying it.
Was I all of a sudden a scared little girl or the fiercely independent woman that by 24 was running a marketing department at a mid size telecom firm? Was I the girl who always made others laugh or had I forgotten what being joyful felt like? This whole victim thing wasn’t a role I was used to playing and even though it made sense being in it felt uncomfortable. Why? The answer and the key to getting out of my predicament lay in the neural networks of my brain.
As the processing center of our bodies, our brains are tasked with among other tasks extracting usable information from all the data we encounter on a daily basis. Once we are introduced to a new idea, concept, person, or topic, your brain begins to create a neural network for it. Each one of the 86 billion neurons in your brain is connected to roughly 10,000 others. Each time a connection is used, a network is created.
According to Psychology Today, these networks function according to 3 principal rules:
1. The focus of your attention is the network you are in. Your attention tells you the neural network you are in. Knowing this you can practice observing your thoughts and being picky about which ones you entertain.
2. Neurons that fire together wire together. This is called Hebb’s Rule (1949), which basically says that repeated experience can strengthen or weaken neuronal bonds. The more neurons fire together, the faster and stronger they wire together, producing larger and stronger networks over time.
The more you focus on something, the more connections to that thing you make, which means that over time you begin to see the world more and more through that particular network/lens and the things that are connected to it. What you focus on, you get a lot more of. So engage with your thoughts wisely, and pay attention to which networks you spend a lot of time in!
3. Use it or lose it. Just as attending to a particular thought strengthens the neural network associated with that thought, neglecting neural networks results in a weakening of those networks over time. This is really good news, because it means that if we can promote disintegration of old, negative, unhelpful networks, we can reduce the intensity and frequency with which we produce (and experience!) the distressing thoughts associated with those networks.
Seeing it this way my dilemma was actually quite simple:
I created a ‘my life sucks and there’s nothing I can do about it’ network and because my circumstances were so difficult, it became strong pretty quickly because there were so many factors out of my control in my new reality.
That network, however, didn’t quite jive with other strong yet already pre-existing networks that I had created in my head which were the ‘everything is figureoutable’ network and the ‘I am woman hear me roar’ network among others. Because of that I found it hard to get unstuck.
This was good. Now I knew what I needed to do. I needed to create a new network! But how?
Fortunately for me, Albert Einstein another one of my favorite gurus came to save the day. “All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge” he said.
Ok, so my imagination… How could I use my imagination to make it easier for me to accept my situation and shift it from positive to negative? How could I enlist its help in making me feel better and not let it continue feeding my current unhappiness? …Because by then I had become an expert at imagining just how much fun all the stuff that I was missing out on was and all the things that could possibly go wrong while I had to take care of dad alone.
The answer was easy. I needed to get creative with my thinking and consciously direct those efforts in a productive way.
You see, imagination is a resource. It’s just like time, money, connections, energy, etc… Much like time, you have the choice to use it consciously but if you don’t, it will still be used regardless. Being aware of this I made the decision that I was going to tell a new, more positive story. Build new networks and work on strengthening them so that I could find more peace of mind and reconnect with my joy.
I built the ‘this doesn’t have to suck’, the ‘this can make you grow’, the ‘you are stronger than you think,’ the ‘create the joy’ and the ‘wow, you have a lot of free time at home now so use it wisely’ networks.
I was determined to adopt a growth mindset and to be more flexible with myself. I understood that in a situation like this having answers or external solutions didn’t really matter. What mattered was my internal world. So I started applying the third rule of Neural Networking and stopped entertaining thoughts that were causing me anxiety or that made it easy for me to go back in victim mode. I also stopped using the ‘but it wasn’t supposed to be like this’ network because if I was being totally honest with myself, I actually had no clue what it was supposed to look like.
Much to my surprise when I opened up to the possibility that my experience didn’t have to be terrible, life started reflecting that! I started noticing little things that brought me a lot of joy like the fact that although dad couldn’t really talk anymore, he could still sing with me. I started caring for him as an opportunity to practice self-care as well. If I gave him a mani and pedi, I would give myself one too. I started realizing that slowing down was actually a gift because it allowed me to open the door into myself. I started reading about nutrition, I reconnected with my love of performing and I would put on mini concerts for him in the living room. I started getting creative with my cooking… I started connecting with my dad in a way I never had before… the way of the soul and I got to see and feel his spirit.
Alzheimer’s is a condition that strips away your sense of self and can be rather confusing and scary for those who live with it. Because of that, it is quite common for folks with the disease to be aggressive and combative with their care takers. My pops on the other hand? Total sweetheart. So gentle.
The more I was forced to constantly and consciously choose my network/narrative/path to grace, the more I realized just how important doing so really is. The more I was forced to slow down the more I saw how much unnecessary rushing I had done before and the more honest I became with myself. The life that I ‘missed’ so much was actually not the life I truly wanted. Sure, it checked off all the boxes I’d been socialized into thinking I did but those check marks permitted me to bypass my true self’s desires and needs. In a way, my dad’s illness had caused me a tremendous amount of pain but it had also been a gift. An opportunity for me to learn some valuable lessons about acceptance, unconditional love, and the true meaning of freedom. An opportunity to open the door into myself.
My life changed and I became who I am today because my circumstances forced me to look at and change my story and the filter through which I see the world. The good news is you don’t wait for things to get to that point to start looking within and doing the work in your own world. Yes, it will require courage and you will likely find things that are difficult to confront but it will be the most satisfying journey you’ll ever make if you allow it.
You may have noticed that I called myself a professional student of life at the beginning of our time together. I hope you’ll join me in my pursuit and that we can grow together learning from the many teachers who will cross our path.
Let’s use this incredible resource that is our imagination and put it at the service of our dreams and not our fears. Let’s use it to create and play out the narratives we want to live and have the courage to treat ourselves like the beautifully imperfect works in progress we are. Let’s take ourselves seriously enough to find the freedom required to stop taking ourselves so seriously… To embody the joy that we want to feel… to relish the lemons we masterfully turn into lemonade.
The stakes are high folks. We are living in a time where we as a collective society need to shift our way of living. Truth is, we don’t need more stuff. We don’t need more technology, we don’t need more convenience, faster cars, microchips in our brains, doomsday shelters or to live forever. With the planet as is we already all have the resources we need to keep every one fed, sheltered, educated and yet that’s not what we see. Why? Because we lost our way and ourselves. Because the story we began to tell was one based on fear.
More than our way of living though, we need to define our way of BEING. We need to reconnect with our humanity and in order to do so we must first reconnect with ourselves.
So with that in mind today I ask, what story are you telling?
(*** I chose Cielito Lindo for the song to accompany this post because it was the song that dad and I sang the most together during this period. Every time I hear it, I'm immediately transported to that time. It will forever be one of my favorites for that reason.***)
Are you in Dubai or will you be there on the 28th of this month? If so, please join us for:
The scoop:
At their core, success and happiness are an inside job.
Gone are the days where we glorify burnt out and overly stressed yet financially successful people. Gone are the days where we think that we will achieve fulfillment by merely ‘checking off the right boxes’… You know, the “right” job/relationship/flat/number in the bank.
We suffer from “I’ll be happy when…” syndrome because we’ve been taught that our happiness lies outside of ourselves. For this reason, we also fall pray to a lot of self-judgment and we judge each other unfairly. At the end of the day, we’ve built a society that has essentially outsourced our definition of personal satisfaction and we’re suffering from it.
Fortunately, if we do the work, that stops with us. We’re the generation that is waking up to the fact that we’ve been sold an illusion that makes being authentically happy pretty much impossible because it systematically teaches us to ignore who we truly are and what we really want for the sake of fitting constantly changing norms.
The world needs more happy, healthy, and whole people. The only way for us to get there as a community is by looking inside of ourselves and starting to ask the right questions. We need to start living more intentionally and we need to start living for ourselves so we can be better to each other.
You can have all the talent, connections, money, or beauty in the world and still not feel fulfilled if you’re lacking in self-awareness, self-confidence, and not standing in your personal power and truth... If your lack of self-worth or insecurities prevent you from pursuing opportunities and putting yourself out there AUTHENTICALLY… If you’re denying who you really are to please other people.
You see, in order for a person to be authentically successful or happy, he/she has to feel that and believe in themselves. They have to drop the societal narratives that no longer serve them… He has to own his power and create his experience. She has to be confident and clearheaded. They both have to learn how to to face their fears and win.
At the end of the day, where there is turmoil in our internal world, there is likely turmoil in our external one. For that reason, we want to help you master a crucial part of your internal game… Your relationship with your inner critic and your relationship with fear.
Join us for an intimate dinner time get together/workshop designed specifically for you to start changing the conversation you are having with yourself about the life you lead and the future you want to build.
If you allow it to and fully commit to the process, it could be life changing!
To purchase tickets, click here!
SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LET YOUR INNER WEIRDO OUT FOR A DANCE...
A couple of months back I got tired of seeing how much time we spend on social media curating our online personas in an effort to look cool rather than portraying ourselves more honestly...So I asked you for help.
I wanted to prove that there are people out there who are willing to get goofy, be a bit weird, and flex their 'I don't give a f*ck' muscle. I made a call for volunteers and gave you no details until you had already agreed.
Turns out 30 of you in 9 different countries, 5 cities in the US, a volcano, and a pirate ship were brave enough to join me. To you, a massive thank you. You're the best! Let's do more of this shall we?
To those of you watching, enjoy! I hope this gives you a bit of inspiration to start the year off by honoring yourself and not worrying so much about what everybody else thinks. 2018 is your year baby!
Namasme.
(The song featured in the video is called Venezuela by Coleman Hell. To download it, check it out here!)
I’m in California looking at the ocean and taking some time to reflect on this year. From moving to Bali to meeting and hanging out with Richard Branson at Necker to sitting for my first Ayahuasca ceremony, 2017 turned out to be a year of surprises, massive growth, and setting the stage for 2018 in a big way.
Because sharing more of my personal journey with you is one of my goals, I’ve decided to start a bit early and share with you my top 5 highlights of the year and the lessons they taught me.
Moving to Bali
What was originally a trip to celebrate my birthday turned into the decision to relocate and one of the best life choices that I’ve ever made. On the morning of my 33rd birthday, I found myself watching the sunrise at the top of a volcano not far from Ubud and knowing with every fiber in my being that I was home. That 'knowing' was everything but rational but I decided to listen to it.
That feeling initiated what was to become a time of transition and it looked like the Universe and my former partner agreed because it took me just 6 days to make the Bali - Hong Kong - Bali move almost seamlessly. I’ve spoken about my Bali experience at length in another post so I won’t elaborate much further but will say that Bali taught me to appreciate simplicity and to slow down. It helped me strip away layers of my ego that were getting in the way of my continued growth and gave me friendships that I will treasure forever.
The Lesson? Life will always make sure you learn what you need to learn and all those lessons won’t necessarily come from big struggles. It’s good to pay attention to things when they’re working too. What is meant for you flows. Your job is to get your mindset and your actions to align and facilitate that flow making sure you get out of your own way. Your biggest ally in that effort is your gut. Always trust your gut.
The Explosive Growth of Meuf on Top
Just a little over two years ago when I was still living in Paris, I had an idea as I reflected on how many incredible women I knew. My life was made richer by every single one of these connections and I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if I created a space to share them with each other… To see what would happen when a very diverse and powerful group of women from different backgrounds and countries were given the opportunity to share ideas and resources with each other with no specific goal in mind other than to grow.
Thankfully and much to my surprise, the results have been fantastic! We are a community that has grown from 83 women in 4 countries to almost 500 in 15. Just this year alone we grew 480%. We speak 7 different languages and have members ranging from ages 17 - 92. We host themed gatherings in different cities across the globe and have become a tribe of women that operates in a highly conscious, open-minded and loving way. Everyone of these ladies works hard to make their community better and to be a better human.
I couldn’t be more proud of the caliber of woman I see the group attracts but also of the fact that the group has grown far beyond the extension of my own personal network and into a truly global community!
On a professional front, Meuf on Top has allowed me to gather insight into what women are thinking and how to be a better coach. The group has also afforded me the opportunity to test out new content ideas and develop new offerings designed based on the feedback that I’ve been able to gather.
The lesson? Almost everything/everyone in our lives can teach us something about how to run our businesses better. Inspiration is everywhere so follow your curiosity, you never know where it may lead you and what you could learn from it.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this, I started the group almost as a social experiment and boy has it proven to have been a good idea! I unknowingly created a platform that enhances my business by giving me valuable input about one of my biggest market segments and have created a global network of allies for Namasme. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, MAGIC HAPPENS WHEN STRONG WOMEN DECIDE TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. I’m looking forward to seeing the continued organic growth of the group and if you’re reading this and want to join, to seeing an invite request from you on Facebook. To join, click here!
Necker Island
I was invited to Necker by someone who I admire deeply, my friend and founder of Supershe, Kristina Roth. As a business woman, Kristina was able to do what few can… She came to this country with a laptop and a dream and in less than 10 years built and sold one of the fastest growing companies in the United States according to Forbes magazine. She’s bold, brilliant, and has a huge heart.
I met Kristina in Paris in 2016 just as she was beginning her new project Supershe and was looking to connect with like-minded women doing interesting things in the world. During our interview we hit it off and ended up spending the day together and having a great time. We kept in touch and as as fate would have it, less than a year later, Kristina would invite me to Necker, not knowing that Richard Branson has been one of my heroes for as long as I can remember. Naturally I jumped on the opportunity and it turned out to be a spectacular trip.
For five days I was surrounded by some of the most brilliant minds from Silicon Valley, European tech, Venture Capital, Fashion, world renowned scholars and athletes, 500 flamingos, lemurs, and a very vigilant tortoise. We ate, we laughed, we danced, we sang, we were outdoors all day, and we talked about life and spirituality. We talked about the world, what is coming, and how to do our part to make it a better place.
I had the opportunity to talk to get to know Richard and observe him in his natural habitat and much to my delight was able to confirm that everything that I’d thought about him prior to our meeting was correct. He is a wonderful human being and full of life and in his 70’s keeps his staff of twenty somethings on their toes with his energy and enthusiasm. More importantly, I noticed that he had two traits in common with everyone I met there...They didn't take themselves too seriously (as the merman tail in the picture suggests) and were all solutions minded and forward thinking. If something needed to be done, the question was never ‘if’ but ‘how’. That stuck with me.
I left Necker full of fire and inspired to grow Namasme. How? I wasn't quite sure at the time. I just knew that I wanted to have a deeper and more meaningful impact on the world and I had plenty of inspiration and references of just how possible is it to make it happen. Now that I have a better of idea of what I will be doing in 2018, I 'm literally counting down the days till January!
The Lesson? It’s important to surround yourself with people who push you to stretch yourself in all ways, physically, intellectually, emotionally. People who are creating their own path with courage and who are committed to something bigger than themselves. People who are curious, talented, and satisfied without being complacent. People who don't believe in convention because it yields conventional results. Those who understand that you’re never too small to have an impact if you have a vision and a plan, the energy to see it through, and the humility to listen and to know that regardless of how successful you are, you will forever have something to learn.
Necker and my Necker ‘familia’, without knowing it taught me how to dream bigger than I previously given myself permission to do. For that I will be forever thankful and oh so ready for the goodness coming in 2018.
***Unfortunately, it looks like we were one of the last groups to visit Necker this year since it, along with the rest of the BVI’s and much of the Caribbean were decimated by Hurricane Irma. If you’re reading this and would like to get involved in the relief effort for the BVI’s, please visit: www.bvihelp.com to see how you can help.***
Launching Our Youtube Channel
I won't lie, there are days where I miss my showbiz career. Days when I miss doing work that impacts a large group of people, not just those I have immediate and personal access to. Days when I remember how delicious it is to use my creativity for a good cause as we did on television with the Nenaemboscada. Because of that, earlier this summer we launched our Youtube channel and though it's till very much in it's nascent phase and the recovering perfectionist inside of me is still a bit uncomfortable with the production quality of what we've put out so far because we were literally filming in the jungle, I'm proud of the subject matter that we covered, the over 2,200 views we have, and our 69 subscribers.
That said, we plan on growing the Namasme online footprint in 2018 and will be making the Namasme Media Youtube channel a priority. This means more content, less roosters in the background, and more fun and engaging topics so join us and subscribe or send us a note if you have any content ideas that you would like to see us explore to hey@namasme.com!
The Lesson? Done is better than perfect. Sometimes you just have to jump and adjust as you go.
Sitting For My First Ayahuasca Ceremony
I'd heard a lot about the life changing experiences that friends had had with Ayahuasca for years and always knew it was something that I wanted to experience but only under the right circumstances. I strongly believe that journeys with plant medicine are to be taken seriously, done responsibly, and in a safe environment. Opening the doors of perception can be an incredibly healing experience but also a scary one and for that reason I waited until I found the right opportunity and the right people to sit with 'grandmother'.
The ceremony allowed me to experience a feeling of 'Oneness' I'd never felt before. I'd understood it conceptually but there was something about being in nature that night that made me feel at a cellular level that we're all a part of something bigger and that we really do depend on each other to live harmoniously with each other and with our planet.
The lesson? Neither we, or anything that we do ever really exist in isolation and as such, we carry a tremendous responsibility to ensure that we are the best versions of ourselves so that we can be wise and humble enough to tread lightly on this earth. Every decision that we make matters. Every decision that we make gives us an opportunity stand for the world that we want to see and for the love that we want to embody.
Purpose isn't something that you find of that you should spend your time chasing. Purpose is something that you can infuse into every day of your life by making every act sacred...by making every act stand for something. By being conscious of the fact the very fact that you're breathing is a gift. If you choose to live this way, you'll find that life will show you where to go.
***Please note that this is NOT and endorsement of Ayahuasca or any plant medicine. My intention in this post is not to encourage you to go down this path. That decision is solely yours and plant medicine isn't for everyone and can have serious physical and emotional consequences. It is NOT meant to be a recreational activity. If you do decide to do so, however, please make sure you do what you can to ensure you'll have a safe and fulfilling experience***
My hope in sharing with you these highlights is to encourage you to take some time and reflect on what you learned this year. If you do, you are embracing a growth mindset and are putting yourself in the position to embrace what's next by having both feet firmly planted in the knowledge of where you stand.
So, what would your top 5 be for 2017?
Namasme.
***(I chose 'How to Fly' By Sticky Fingers as the song for this post because while everyone else on the planet had Despacito on repeat, this was my JAM for most of the year. There is something about its vibe that I find incredibly infectious. Enjoy!)***
It may come as a shock to you but what you see here is my hand...Just two months ago, at the intersection of my pinky finger and my palm there used to be a pretty noticeable and to be honest, pretty gross looking callus. Contrary to what most of you who know me would believe since I have a thing for aesthetics, I was rather proud of that callus. You can kind of see the last of it in the picture but it’s mostly gone and while there is nothing really extraordinary going on, while looking at it today, I realized something that I want to share with you in hopes that it will be useful. At its core, this is a story about permission…
I left Bali on the night of Halloween and I’ve been back in the states for over a month and a half now. While the transition has been smoother than I imagined because I’ve spent most of my time in the countryside living in nature at our family farm (and I haven’t dealt with too much of the collective DC neurosis), I have to say there have been many moments where I get a pang of melancholy and I wish I was back in the place that has most felt like home ever.
When I do go into the city, the question I get asked most often is why I was crazy enough to leave paradise and come to the cold. Most of the time I’ve resorted to the easy answer which in this case means that it’s monsoon season and there was a volcano situation you may have heard about in the news. In other instances I talk about wanting to spend time with family and while both are true, the real reason I came back is a bit harder to explain but at the same time has been a wonderful lesson learned.
Truth is, I came back to the US because for the first time in my life I decided to give myself permission to consciously push myself to grow. I didn’t wait for it to hit the fan, there was no crisis to manage or run from, and there was no external circumstance or situation guiding my thinking and subsequent action. I simply took a step back, tried to observe my life as objectively as I could, and realized that it was time to go.
For how long? Who knows. Maybe a season? I’ve learned that with me, sometimes it’s hard to tell but at this point it’s irrelevant to the story. So back to that…
By any measure my life in Bali was idyllic. I was living in an incredible and relatively peaceful town called Ubud in the middle of the jungle surrounded by beautiful yogis, artists, musicians, and highly conscious folk. The food was incredible, I’d never felt better in my body or more creative, and the cost of living was incredibly low compared to American standards. Because Ubud is known as the spiritual center of Bali, I dove deep into my spiritual practice while I was there and experimented with all sorts of modalities ranging from sound healing to plant medicine. Even though I didn’t move there to ‘heal’ myself like many do, (that’s a story for another day) I ended up integrating a lot of things from my past and from an emotional standpoint grew more in the 8 months that I was there than in the last 33 years of my life.
It seemed like every couple of days there was a new discovery as I learned to look deeper and deeper inside of myself and slowed down. While I enjoyed many different types of activities there, the one that consistently fed my soul the most was going for long rides on my motorcycle. As I’d get lost in my thoughts, I’d get lost in the rice fields and country roads of the surrounding area feeling the wind in my face and the sun on my shoulders.
It wasn’t uncommon for me to go on 2 hour rides with no particular itinerary in mind because I relished the feeling of freedom and often cried happy tears inspired by the beauty of my surroundings and the fortune I had to be there. I often found that riding put me in a sort of mediative state because I was forced to concentrate exclusively on a task that required my full attention if it was to be done correctly and more importantly, if I was going to survive the crazy driving of the locals and a few overachieving expats. Because of that and the reasons I previously mentioned, I rode my bike as often as I could… So much so in fact that my right hand developed the small, round, and rather pronounced callus that I previously mentioned.
Rather than be grossed out by it and attempt to get rid of it, I wore it almost like a badge of honor because it felt like a permanent reminder of the goodness that surrounded me at the time. When my parents came to visit, I proudly showed it to my mom on the first day that she arrived. Needless to say, she was less than thrilled that her baby was scooting around town on two wheels…
Interestingly enough, it was during my parent’s visit that my feelings started to shift regarding my living situation. I noticed that while I had been basically blissed out for 8 months, I hadn’t done much with all of the goodness that I’d received to give back. My business was pretty much on autopilot at that point and completely referral based so other than being fully present for my existing clients during our sessions, I really didn’t really invest much time into Namasme or into any activity in gratitude of or to reciprocate my good fortune. I volunteered at a school/orphanage once in a while but that was nowhere near enough and that started to feel wrong.
Having my parents there I became acutely aware of just how badly the West and particularly the US needs consciously minded, happy, satisfied, and grounded people. Hearing about everything that was happening in politics and society, it became abundantly clear to me that to be truly useful (which is very important to me), I needed to spend some time here. I had to focus on growing/shifting Namasme so that I could help more people re-discover themselves and contribute my little grain of sand to the massive shift happening in this country and the world. The time for the shift from inward to outward had arrived.
As I have a tendency to do, I tried to ignore this new awareness for a couple of days because I was too comfortable and too happy where I was. Why on earth would I want to give that up?! I mean, I literally had physical manifestations of my happiness as my friend the callus could prove!
But no, as with all new awarenesses of the soul, you can’t unlearn something you’ve discovered. You can do your best to sedate yourself to not feel or to try to ignore it but your can’t unlearn it. This meant that after repeated attempts to do the latter, I eventually caved in and decided (against what at that time felt like my better judgment) to leave the place that taught me how to be 100% unapologetically myself to go back to a place that I had never related to positively and that was also all too familiar. The District. The same streets, the same restaurants, the same issues, the same conversations, the same power games, the same drinking culture, but a very different president. Ugh.
Much to my own chagrin (even though I secretly love it) my time here has shown me that I made the right choice. I now understand that my time in Bali taught me exactly what I needed and that the last lesson was when to know when to let go. I could have easily stayed there forever but my growth would’ve been stunted because there is a big world out there waiting to be discovered and many people to help with this remarkable skill set that is coaching.
You see, ‘me’ time is important because it offers an opportunity for introspection and if used correctly, some valuable perspective. More important than that however, is what you decide to DO with what you’ve learned. Focusing on ourselves is a wonderful and very necessary thing but I’ve come to realize that we shouldn’t do it at the expense of our understanding that we're a part of a community and as such have a responsibility to contribute what we can to make things better. The beauty of life is the dance between the two.
I’ve spent the greater part of the last three weeks planning 2018 for Namasme and I feel like I have a fire lit inside of me. I’m so ready and so excited for what’s coming I can’t wait for it to be January because I’m shifting gears a bit and will be putting myself back on stage for the first time in 5 years although this time it won’t be to sing or be on TV but to speak and hopefully inspire others with my journey and the things I’ve learned along the way. I hope you’ll join me!
I've also decided that in addition to my group programs and upcoming online courses, for every one-on-one client that comes in starting in January, I will offer a half cycle (3 months) of coaching to a person in need for free* as part of a Karma coaching initiative. I keep my practice small and coaching isn't cheap but that doesn't mean it should be inaccessible...Especially to those who could probably benefit from it the most. It's time to multiply the good juju!
So friend, now you probably understand why you were looking at a picture of my hand and why, when I do the same I feel a bit of melancholy but mostly pride again even though my noble callus is gone...Melancholy because I miss the sweetness of good times passed but pride for very different reasons than before. I feel pride in the fact that I willingly decided to leave my all too comfortable nest to venture back here and see what the future has in store not waiting for 'certainties' or answers before making a move, just following my instinct…Pride that I gave myself permission to grow and to change without waiting for life to push me…Pride that I’ve transformed from reactor to creator and that I’ve learned to trust myself, my abilities, and most importantly, the process… And ultimately pride because I can feel in my bones that I’m finally becoming the woman that I’m meant to be.
With that, I ask you friend. What are you not giving yourself permission to do in order to evolve and to embrace a new phase of growth? To look for a different job? To leave the unfulfilling relationship? To stop repeating the same tired narratives in your head about how life is so hard? To have that awkward conversation with that friend you have feelings for?
Have you considered what could be on the other side if you simply said yes to opening that door? Good, bad, or ugly I can guarantee you it will be worth it. Why? Simple…And I never give guarantees but in this case I can confidently state that it will, in one way or another help you, well… grow. ;)
Namasme.
p.s. I know I said I’m happy without the answers but if any of you do palm readings…
(I chose ‘Let Go’ By Justin Jay feat. Benny Bridges and Josh Taylor because it was a song I used to love listening too while riding my bike and the lyrics are quite a propos don’t you think?)
* If you're interested in being a Karma Coaching participant, please send us a note at hey@namasme.com
Everyone always talks about the importance of empathy... but there’s a better alternative to improve your relationships. Curious? Check it out and feel free to comment or share!
I'm really not a fan of the word 'healing'. Why? Using it puts you at a disadvantage that stems from a framing issue. Curious? Check out the video below!
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were as good a friend to yourself as you are to your friends? We did not too long ago, wrote this song, and felt compelled to share with you today.
Special bonus? You'll get fully immersed in my Bali life right along the cicadas, chickens, and crafty neighbors.... 😉 As they say, sometimes done is better than perfect! We hope you enjoy and look forward to your feedback.
Namasme.
This morning, I realized I've been wrong about something pretty important and I'd like to share that with you.
You see, as a coach sometimes it's easy for me to get caught up in the ideas and jargon of the industry I work in. I live in space where I'm constantly talking about life and how to be a better human. I consistently use expressions like 'resonate,' 'energy leak', 'hold space', 'drop in', and 'alignment' among others.
Lately, one of my favorite thoughts and go to phrases has been, "You have to meet people where they are" because it implies that you shouldn't try to meet them 'where' you'd like them to be. Its a phrase that is meant to celebrate sovereignty and encourage empathy, unconditionality, and non-judgment. Awesome right? Wrong.
For the record I happen to think those four things are wonderful but 8 hours ago something shifted regarding this particular issue that made me realize that my approach of 'meeting people where they are' is wrong and it came from a very simple thought...
We don't share the same references, we don't have the same past, we don't see the world through the same filter and we most certainly don't inhabit their brains or hearts. It's therefore impossible for us to really understand 'where' they 'are', so it's quite unfair for us to develop an opinion about it.
At the end of the day we know very little about the universe that is another person and most of what we do know is based on mere conjecture... So what is it exactly that we do do then?
As we do with all things in our lives, we carefully craft a story based on assumptions about 'where' that person 'is' and 'why' in an attempt to understand their situation. We do this to be able to categorize and label them because our brains like neatly organized information. By knowing the story we will therefore now how to react 'appropriately'.
We also do this (hopefully) to try to empathize and connect with the people in question and while that is a noble pursuit, doing so actually prevents us from the very thing we desire because great connections are based on authenticity, not stories... The plus side of that is that we're only responsible for our end of the bargain when it comes to showing up authentically in a relationship so at least we'll know where to focus our energy!
Now that I've made it pretty clear that our perception of others and the world is pretty much a sophisticated deception, what, you may be wondering is the moral of the story? That we will never have all the information? That our brains work against us?
The important point here is for us to understand that we're faced with a pretty simple but incredibly important choice... While knowing this can be scary, it can also be empowering because it then compels us to take a stance for who we want to be in a world devoid of total security or certainty about anything.
Will we take a stance for love? Will we give because it is in our true nature to do so? Will we choose to be kind, open, and flexible regardless of what is thrown our way or the stories that we develop? Will we give people/situations/ourselves the benefit of the doubt before judging?
David Deida writes about this very topic beautifully in his book, Blue Truth. He encourages us to be courageous, to stay open when he states,
Right now, and in every now moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something- more money, more security, affection- or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting.
If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer. Every moment is the most important moment of your life. No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love.
Everything you do right now ripples and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room with depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open heart and minds.
Opening from heart to all, you live as a gift to all. In every moment, you are either opening or closing. Right now, you are choosing to open and give fully or are you waiting. How does your choice feel?"
--
So no, we will never know 'where' we, or others 'are' in reality but yes, we can choose to meet them and ourselves in an accepting and loving way regardless of condition. I think George Orwell was right when he said that happiness can exist only in acceptance.
We can choose to get progressively more comfortable with the inevitable uncertainty and ever-changing flow of life or we can allow our frustrations and stories to run the show. We can declare our intent to embody the love and acceptance that we want to receive from others. We can stay open and vulnerable. We can choose to see the glass as completely full... Half full of water and half full of air.
Why? Because doing so just makes the ride sweeter.
Namasme.
(I chose Open by Rhye for this entry because it makes me feel like I do when I willingly choose to see a difficult situation through a loving lens... It's a slow start but pretty soon thereafter I find a delicious flow. The music isn't ultra saccharine but it has a patient sweetness that can't be ignored and the lyrics are pretty much on point. Enjoy!)
Apple has been in the news a lot lately with unprecedented stock valuations and the more recent launch of the iPhone X. As a company, it has experienced a level of success that leads one to question what it is that makes it so special. What can its trajectory in the stock market and its successful corporate culture and remarkable client loyalty teach us?
As a life coach who works with a lot of finance types, I decided to tackle this question but to do so through a coaching lens to see if I could find anything life related that could be interesting. Lucky for me, I found six life lessons that we can learn from Apple as a company that can prove helpful to those of us running businesses or simply trying to be well balanced humans.
They are:
1. Real value and perceived value aren't the same thing. Focus on the one that matters. At the time of writing this, Apple was the darling of the stock market. Company stock was performing well, trending in the right direction, and market analyst consensus was that the company will continue to outperform the market. Word on the street was buy, buy, buy... Then they decided to announce the launch of the iPhone X and due to a perceived delivery delay Apple stock value actually went down for the first time in a long time. This seemingly unfair dip (after all, the company's second quarter results were better than expected) made me wonder about when Apple stock wasn't doing so well so I did some research.
In July of 2015, Apple grew its revenues by 33%, saw its profits increase by 38%, put away more than $202 billion in cash in the span of three short months — and yet lost more than $60 billion in market value in just three minutes on a fateful Tuesday. Amazing but true. I makes one wonder how that's even possible. Again, another unfair dip.
The answer is quite simple and it lies in expectation.
Most companies would do anything to have a quarter like that. Profit was up 38%, internal performance records were broken, and the company proved once again that it was rock solid. By ordinary standards, Apple was having an amazing quarter. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way because the stock market is a game of perception.
You see, at the time, industry analysts expected more and stock market observers were actually disappointed. Because of this it looks like Apple basically became a victim of its own success.
So how is this relevant to us?
In the stock market the line between a company's real value and its perceived value is blurred due to the fact that the latter eventually ends up influencing and at times outright determining the former. In life, things are unfortunately the same if we allow it.
We permit our 'market' (the opinions of our family and friends, our current and past circumstances, etc.) to influence the way we feel about ourselves to the point where we have trouble separating our real selves from the feedback that we’re receiving based on others' perceptions. Just like it’s possible for a disparity to exist between Apple's real performance/value and its perceived one there can also be one in our lives. To stay sane, we must make sure to pay attention to the one that matters and not let the noise taint the way that we see ourselves.
On that note,
2. If your stock is performing poorly, instead of blaming 'the market' look within and start there. You can't fully control all of your circumstances and you definitely can't control other people. You can, however, control yourself. Focusing on that one controllable is enough. If your current approach isn't working, change your leadership style, restructure, revise your plan, or move into to a different market-- do what you need to do to shift your direction.
Apple did so spectacularly in the late 90's and early 2000's by letting go unsuccessful product lines and by forming an unconventional partnership with former nemesis Microsoft to bring Mac users access to the Office suite of services. Apple changed course and it worked.
3. Always remember that turnarounds are possible. Apple itself had one of the most dramatic turnarounds in stock market history (a 22,003% price increase) when Steve Jobs came back on board at a time when the company was on the brink of bankruptcy. With a string of product hits and clever marketing, Apple became the company that today is the most valuable tech firm in the world, now worth upwards of $800 Billion. If Jobs didn't give up on his creation even though the future looked incredibly bleak for the company, why should you give up on yours?
4. Effective leadership is a crucial component of success. Speaking of Jobs, you can't talk about Apple and ignore the man who helped it become what it is today. You can say many different things about him as a man and even as a leader but there are a couple of things that are indisputable. He knew what Apple stood for, he had a clear vision of where he wanted the company to go, and he was relentless in his pursuit of it.
How would our lives be different if we approached them in that way? If we became the visionary and tenacious CEO's of ourselves and our futures?
5. In the stock market like in life, real success is measured in the long term. Remember the G4 Game Cube? What about Ping? Yup. Me neither. The point? Apple, like every other company in the world, has made a few less than desirable bets. The lesson? They didn't allow those blunders to define them. They cut their losses quickly and kept moving forward and so can you.
Finally, and most importantly,
6. The only asset that we have that will never grow is our time. It's up to us how we make use of it so we should invest it wisely. It took Apple just 13 years to go from nearly bankrupt to the most admired tech company in the world. How did it do it? It remained true to itself but kept innovating and moving forward.
Apple never rests on its laurels after a successful product launch. Why should we?
There you have it. Some practical life lessons courtesy of one of the most interesting companies of our time. Of tomorrow? Who knows. Just ask Nokia.
Regardless, as coach extraordinaire Tony Robbins says, 'success leaves clues’ and after our research, Apple has proven to be fertile ground for valuable advice. Hopefully this will help you put things in perspective and help you have a nice day!
Namasme.
(I chose Her Eyes The Stars as the song for this post because it's a song that always puts me in a thinking mood. Music has a tendency to dictate my mood so I have to be mindful of what I listen to on a daily basis. Lately, classical has dominated the musical landscape over in Namasme land. What are you listening to?)
This post should really be called Burning Man, Bali, and Catching Myself on My Own Bullshit but it was too long and I’m trying to be more mindful of my language these days…but let me not digress.
I decided not to go to Burning Man this year. If you’ve known me for the past couple of years, you’d know that this is a big deal. You see, the first time I went my whole life changed for the better and because of that, I promised myself that I would go every year and use the experience as a yearly reminder of who I am and of what really matters.
If you’ve been, you’ll understand.
If you haven’t I’ll just ask that you take me at my word and understand that for many who go, it’s not just a festival, it’s a life changing experience. For me for the past three years it served the function of a yearly reset button… A chance to think, to play, to party, to create, to connect with spirit without the fear of being judged and feeling totally free. I made sure to tell everyone who I ever spoke to about Burning Man this exact line.
Last year’s burn was actually my favorite so I surprised even myself when I heard the words ‘I don’t really feel like going anymore’ to a friend on the phone. But why? Why didn’t I feel like going if nothing about Burning Man has changed? Why wouldn't I want to go and experience something that has meant so much to me in the past? I already had plans and tickets to go with my regular camp and with my playa family and I knew that if I went that I would have an amazing time.
Turns out, while Burning Man didn’t change, I did…and because of that, the story I told myself and others about it doesn’t quite resonate with me anymore.
You see, I live in a sleepy town (temporarily packed with tourists) in Bali called Ubud that to me sometimes feels like Garcia Marquez’s Macondo more than the real world. In some ways I’m certain it’s what Macondo would be like if it really existed in Colombia and not just in his imagination… lush, magical, and beautifully dysfunctional.
My life here is simple. It’s quiet. It’s healthy. It’s fun. I spend the majority of my time alone but have met some incredible people and have developed some pretty wonderful friendships in the six months that I’ve been here. I get just the right amount of community to feel socially fulfilled and I’ve been exploring all aspects of myself and my relationship with spirituality.
While I mostly hang out with expats, it’s the locals who have taught me that the word faith is actually a verb and I’ve come to the realization that your belief in a higher power is as strong as your practice of that belief. They grow hand in hand and feed each other cyclically.
The Balinese are masterful at this as they incorporate their spiritual beliefs into just about every aspect of their lives. For that reason the island was baptized the island of the gods and if you’re here long enough and allow yourself the opportunity to experience it, it definitely feels that way. All you have to do is observe and listen… Bali and her people will teach you what you need to learn.
I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin, more loving, more creative, more healthy, more relaxed, more beautiful, more open, or more free. In a nutshell, I’ve never felt more, well, me… As far as I'm concerned, I'm on a permanent holiday!
Because that’s the case when I was on the phone with my friend discussing costumes for the playa I couldn’t help but wonder why I felt 'off' and asked myself and her… ‘What the hell do I need a reset button from?’ I feel like I live in a reset button.
In thinking of leaving Bali my body felt heavy and for lack of a better word, blah. I wasn’t energized in the same way I used to be when I thought about Burning Man in the past and the thought of traveling for 24hrs, spending upwards of $5k on flights, preparations, costumes, and lodging for a week seemed silly considering I'd just come back from an incredible trip on that side of the world and especially when that same $5k can pay for more than six months of rent for a beautiful two bedroom villa in Ubud, 2,222 meals at my favorite local warung (restaurant) or three flights back home to see my niece. This interesting exercise in value relativity and perspective made me remember that not all good opportunities are necessarily the right opportunities for us…
With that realization Burning Man’s role in my life changed and so did the story I tell myself and others about it. In the past, Burning Man as an experience became a symbol of certain emotions I wanted to source in my life. It felt like by heading to the playa I was going ‘home’ to myself. All the emotions and experiences I associated with it I am now able to source in my every day life here and because of that I no longer feel a desire to go.
Now I’m craving different emotions and am on the lookout for experiences to facilitate them… or better yet, looking for ways to source them inside of myself. Funny how something can change so quickly huh?
That said, I’m positive that the Burn this year is going to be amazing and I hope my friends who are going have a wonderful time. If you’re reading this and haven’t been, I strongly suggest that you go at least once. It really is a special experience.
So where’s the lesson in all of this you may ask?
I’m sharing this with you to hopefully inspire you to think about the stories that you’ve created about people, places, or events in your life. Ask yourself, do those stories still feel 'right' and serve you?
Every once in a while it’s a good idea to question if they still match where you are as a person today and to re-evaluate the importance that you give them. Remember, your life is a blank book and you’re the one with pen in hand writing out the chapters.
Just because something or someone has meant something to you in the past doesn’t necessarily mean that that will be the case forever or that you owe them/it anything. It’s a good idea to pay attention to the feelings that you get about things rather than just the thoughts you have formulated about them. It’s also good to remember that there’s a lot of wisdom in your body and emotions and learning to listen to them and honor their messages will always serve you.
Finally, also remember to stay flexible and be gentle with yourself when one of your ‘truths’ or ‘certainties’ changes. If you’re doing things right, you’re going to be constantly evolving for the rest of your life. By default, it won’t always look pretty... It can’t!
You are likely to contradict yourself, outgrow certain ways of thinking and fail spectacularly at least once. So learn, grow, crash into some walls, change stuff, change your mind, change your circumstances, change whatever without the need for justification. It is your right to do so. You came here to experiment and experience. Have some fun will ya?!
Namasme.
(I chose Mike Love's Permanent Holiday because it has been my scooter anthem for the last two weeks. I love that it's music with a message done incredible well. His creative genius really shines in this piece. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!)
I used to be scared of wasps.
And what you see in the picture is a wasp sleeping... Well, she's actually taking a break from building her nest... Right outside of my bedroom door...
I've been observing this wasp for three weeks now and in that time period have had an interesting journey that began in fear and has now evolved into complete admiration.
You see, not too long ago seeing a wasp in my house would have freaked me out enough for me to have had no qualms about getting rid of its nest. No thought would have been given to the animal involved in its creation in the name of self-preservation.
Today though, I can't help but wonder at the beauty and magnificence of this industrious and ultra dedicated wasp's creation! In the three short weeks I've been observing her, every single time I pass my door, I've seen her working. Non stop. Every. Single. Day.
Oddly enough, this is actually the first time I don't see her busy at work building.
I did some research and it turns out that adult worker wasps are usually females who are building nests to safeguard their soon to be born young. In the case of this particular wasp, it also looks like rather than being an adult worker wasp, she's actually a Queen wasp due to her large size. I also learned that wasps are generally not a threat to humans unless they're messed with. (good news!)
Back to the story though...
So every day the wasp's nest grows just a little bit and every day I am made privy to the evolution of the simple yet intricate design she's creating which is beautiful in both form and function. Seeing this has made me develop a new appreciation for this incredible creature and has made me reconsider our relationship.
You see, this little experiment in observation has made me realize that that nest is that wasp's life work. It's her masterpiece... It's her legacy and the future of her family. Knowing this, I understand that the wasp is simply living out her purpose. How could I ever consciously destroy her work?! What makes my manufactured 'peace of mind' more important than her survival? Isn't it possible for us to just co-exist in harmony with each other? Why should my misguided human fear be prioritized over her existence?
This has made me remember a beautiful quote I read not too long ago that says:
I couldn't agree more if I tried. In my mind, we're all wasps. We're all just trying to live our lives and we're trying to do this sharing one home.
It's important that we become conscious of the role that we play in our human communities but also in our ecosystem as a whole. It's important that we learn to respect each other's paths, work, timing, and existence.
It's important that we start operating from the understanding that we don't live in splendid isolation and that our actions have consequences.
What if we learned to be more gentle with the planet, with each other and with ourselves? If we did, wouldn't that be wonderful?
Namasme.
***
{I picked this piece by Bach for this post inspired by a conversation I had with a friend on Sunday about music as a medium for the achievement of ecstasy. We were discussing classical and my friend Peter brought up Bach...whom historically I'd never been a huge fan of.. I've always seen myself as more of a Mozart kind of girl since I studied opera in highschool. His argument was that Bach was the equivalent of (wo)man exhalting God and almost making an offering while Mozart was God speaking to (wo)man through music. This prompted me to give both another listen and I have to admit, I can totally understand why he said what he did and kind of agree. I also have a newfound appreciation for Bach, much like I do for the wasp living in my house. ;) }
I think it can universally be agreed that being in a crisis never feels good. However, it is in times of crisis that we are often pushed to grow out of our comfort zones and deepen our understanding of ourselves so there is a lot of gold to be found in these dark times that we go through.
This video is dedicated to all the physics geeks out there... Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGJeeHKD7_0&t=1s
You don't have to be Elon Musk or have solved world hunger to have a positive impact on people's lives. Because of that, we've decided to start celebrating ordinary folks who put out extraordinary vibes into their communities. You know, good vibrators if you will. ;)
In this first installment, I am excited to introduce you to Wira Kober from Ubud, Bali. May his infections laugh and goodvibery brighten your day!
Ahhhhhh and wasn't Bob Marley right when he sang Marcus Garvey's words in Redemption Song?! So much of what is holding us back is simply in our heads. We choose where we direct our thoughts and energy and are therefore in charge of freeing ourselves from the confines of our judgments and fears.
If you're looking for a pick me up or just a kick in the pants, this video's for you. :)
What if I said that there's a way to avoid disappointment in your relationships? Turns out, there is and it's quite simple. Watch our new video and please let us know what you think!
